Writing about you

I can’t stop myself from writing about you..
I told myself a million times..
that you don’t like to read,
that you don’t want to be disturbed,
that you don’t need to know
But here I’m, still writing about you
With the same awe and passion since I first wrote about you..

I’m glad Allah swt has a greater place in my heart
That He speaks to me everytime I miss you..
And that He lets me do this for you..
Each time I think of you, I utter my duas for you
That you get shifa soon..
That you find solace soon..
That you come back to us soon, healthier, happier, handsomer..

Each time you go away from me,
As your void fills my days and nights,
I realise you fill up my heart and thoughts..
I get up and keep my Niyyath straight;
That I’m doing this for us
That I chose this heaviness in my chest
For the greatest good of your shifa
That Allah swt will reward me for this sacrifice; a gift of cure for you

I look around in search of you
I hear your voice echoing shaabi a 100 times
I look back and revisit our memories together
I cry in happiness seeing our beautiful children
I carefully tend to your plants, how much have your nourished them
I surrender to Allah swt and explore the depth of my pain,
Out of my unconditional and irrevocable love for you..

I can’t stop myself from writing about you..
I love you to the moon and back..