A little bit of courage

All it takes is a little bit of courage

To come back to your Lord,

The most gracious, the most merciful

Take that small step

To bow down in Sujood

And then you realise, how desperately you have missed Him

Ya Allah, from the bottom of my heart

I sincerely seek your repentance

My head had been so engulfed in this merciless Dunya

That I conveniently ignored my souls plea for your Remembrance

For indeed, only in Your remembrance can my heart find solace

Yet I ignored, every single thought that came to me, to turn back to You

Ya Allah I have sinned

Yet, I’m hopeful of your mercy

Ya Allah, I have lost myself in this whirlpool that hit me and swept me off my feet

Yet there’s life in my heart, my body, my soul; craving for Your love

I deliberately cut the chord, that connected me to you

And how can I seek it in others, that which You have provided me

Relentlessly chanting my routine dhikr,

Heedlessly performing my daily namaz,

Mindlessly making my usual duas,

I was so engrossed in thinking of you

As a strict teacher, waiting to lash me in and out

If I ever fail in my tasks

Where did my love go?

Little did I think of you as

The most merciful, the most gracious

The most loving, the most forgiving

Yet you left your mark, helping me in my every struggle

Every single pressure had an ease on its way; Your sign that You love me

Little did I think of you as my Creator

Who is closer to me than my jugular vein

Who loves me exactly as I’m

Who is well aware of my every struggle

Who is consistently and unconditionally forgiving me

And giving me another day, another moment, another breath

Another chance to mend, to heal, to love

And to strive hard in your path, Ya Rabb

Ya Allah, you are the most High,

You are oft forgiving,

You are the most merciful,

You are the most loving,

Ya Allah, I seek your mercy with all my heart

I surrender and submit to You alone

And beg of you, to forgive me one more time

I cry in my Sujood to you alone

Until I feel you inside of me

Ya Allah, please help me in my life

Please ease what’s hurting in me

Please show me a way out from every test

Please make me a better person

Please guide me to Your wisdom, to Your light

Ya Allah, please grand me the Barakah of Your infinite mercy

And let that be my strength,

To carry myself with grace,

In this world and the next,

And to finally reach my eternal abode, to Your Jannah…

Allahumma Aameen..